Voldemina
by Spirals and Lightning Bolts
Summary: In which Voldemort is somehow transformed into a girl... and has an emotional breakdown. Bellatrix is confused. Now contains other drabble/ one shot things.
1. Chapter 1

**Ok I have no idea where this came from, but I was wondering what ****_would_**** happen if Voldy was a girl?**

* * *

It was in the middle of one of his Death Eater we-will-kill-Harry-Potter-and-gain-ultimate-contro l-over-the-world-and-all-that meetings when Voldemort turned into a girl. There was a huge flash of blinding light which blew all the evil guys backwards. When they finally got their vision back, they saw a tall, freaky, not-that-terrifying woman standing in the center of the room.

The girl had blood red eyes, a squished, snake-like nose and curly blonde hair.

"Why are you staring at me?! I'm the dark lord, I demand you stop it!" She snapped.

The death Eaters looked at each other with just one thought running through their heads; _what the hell is going on?_

It was Bellatrix Lestrange who worked it out first.

"M-my l-lord?" She asked, nervously.

"Yes!" she snapped, "What?"

Bellatrix gulped, the dark lord wasn't going to like this,

"Um well, well... you... y-you're a... a... you're a girl"

"WHAT!"

Voldemort shrieked in his (well her) now very high pitched, squeaky voice. She then buried her pale face in her hands, her new shiny blonde hair falling over her shoulders.

"no!" She murmured to herself, "No, I _cannot_ be a girl! No!"

She sniffed and was silent for a few seconds, then she tilted her head back and screamed at the ceiling,

"YOU WIN HARRY POTTER! I'M GIVING UP EVILNESS FOREVER! I MEAN IT! I WILL NOT BE REMEMBERED AS A _GIRL_!"

She gave a small sob then scurried out of the room.

The other death eaters stared after her, open mouthed.

"Huh!" Bellatrix muttered, kicking over one of the high-backed chairs which decorated the room, "What's wrong with being a girl?"


	2. Herman

**This will possibly be becoming a series, but only if someone reveiws and tells me what they think *hint hint :)**

**This is just... well... strange... but, on the upside, I don't think anyone else has done this before...**

**male!Hermione O.o**

Harry, Ron and Hermione were sat in Hogwarts' immensely big library (well according to Ron and Harry it was, if you happened to be Hermione it was "quite big"). Hermione was sat in a sagging crimson armchair, her frizzy brown haired head hunched over a large book. Totally absorbed in whatever facts she was reading.

The boys, however, were not reading, nor were they doing their huge potions essays for Snape, due in the following day(well they could always copy Hermione's). Instead they were locked in a fierce game of wizards chess, and Ron was winning.

Currently, Harry's queen was being smashed to bits by Ron's Bishop. The redhead whooped in sucess, only to be cut short as a blinding flash filled the library, illumiating the creaky shelves filled more with spiders webs and forgotten quills than actual books and leaving bright spots in front of their eyes.

Both boys stared at each other, open mouthed, before Harry eventually found his voice,

"What was _that_!"

Ron shook his head,

"no idea mate, what about you Hermione?" he turned to the girl, and, for the second time in the past ten seconds, his mouth dropped open again. This time he was pretty certain it had hit the cold stone floor beneath him.

Confused by his friends reaction, Harry turned around as well.

"Ron, wha-... Oh"

The Weasly, who had by now regained control of his mouth, completely agreed with him,

"oh indeed"

Hermione scowled,

"What is it!"

She snapped, trying to sound annoyed and inpatient with them, but she actually felt a bit worried due to her friends' reactions.

Her fear only grew when she heard her voice come out deep and gruff.

She then realized that her hair was missing.

And her clothes were different.

Oh, and the fact she was possibly... maybe... definitely _a_ _boy?_

Taking all this in, Hermione opened her mouth and said the only thing she/he could;

"oh"


End file.
